This is a piece I wrote back in May. I think it does a good job of summing up how I’m feeling these days.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Title: Him
On those days
When I worry
That the world
will fall apart
I want my man
to assure me
that all my worries
are for naught
That should the world
be cleft in twain
He’d take the two
broken halves in hand
Without a doubt
And with cosmic
force of will
Make it whole again
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I’ve got RL things on my mind. And it’s lead me to consider this question: “Why would a modern day woman, liberal in thought and deed, be so drawn to the fantasy that is Gor?”
I know my answer. I want a partner with the same fortitude of character as my own. The same strength of spirit, force of will. At least the same. If not stronger, more virile.
I’ve found that difficult to recognize in today’s men. I’m on my second marriage now. And I’m feeling quite despondent of late. Realizing the boyish charm I so adored nearly 9 years ago might never bloom of it’s own accord into manhood. I’m going to indulge myself here, thankful for the anonymity of this blog, and prattle on a bit about my own personal relationship woes. Feel free to turn the page.
My dear husband, whose boyish charm and quick wit I so adored when we met, has been unemployed for over a year. More so, this seems to be a trend. For, looking back over the past nine years, every time my own career takes a leap forward he seems to have found himself without work. His temper gets him fired or ‘laid off’ … more than once he’s had an employer reduce his hours to zero until he quit.
I want a man. A provider. A strong will and decisive mind to walk by my side. Or possibly lead the way, blazing the trail for us both.
At what point in a man’s life does he grow up? 25 came and went and it didn’t happen. Last year he turned 30 and still I see no change. I am to the point of real grief, because I truly love this person. But I worry that if we remain a couple I will forever be in the caretaker position. The one shouldering the majority of the burdens and responsibilities in the relationship. It’s tiresome. And it’s wearing me down.
Bring on the silver ship. I’m ready to migrate.
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Panner the poet visited Port Kar and offered an impromptu performance last night. The admin’s had turned on voice and he does spoken poetry very well. We’d been chatting, ICly, about his sponsoring me in the caste. He’s rounding up several poets to represent the caste so I can audition. I was telling him I was nervous, that I wasn’t sure about some of my work. He recited ‘Lovesworn Heart’ — one of my latest, and probably my best piece. I could’ve wept it was so well done. Hearing my words gave the work new life. I felt such joy realizing that was MY art being spoken! All mine. And it really was a beautiful piece. I’m very proud of it. Moreso now than ever before. I finally feel really confident about the audition. I’m going to practice reciting the pieces I want to use. I hope I can be as moving as Panner was in the telling. *Huzzah!*
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This blog is a continuation of a previous post concerning Sage’s destiny.
So a lot has happened to Sage in the past RL month. Which I suppose in SL time is 3 months. Her companion has died, she’s testified at the trial of his killer, in his defense no less. She’s obtained gainful employment and leasing a modest home (OK, it’s a shack in the dregs, but it’s honestly hers and she’s proud to have something more than a hovel to reside in). And she’s taken a fancy to a certain captain of the city who seems to return the sentiment.
This morning was particularly enlightening. A slaver of the city chastised Sage and Mya for their lack of modesty. Neither were wearing face veils. And true, there’s no law in Port Kar requiring a woman to do so, but it is custom, and of course, highly recommended for those women who do not wish to be thought ‘courting the collar’ …
There was some fuss over the issue and in the end I did decide to don the veil. But I had to consider my recent behavior. Flouncing about town bare-faced. Flirting openly with visitors and slavers. Public drunkenness. I realized I had been courting the collar. More to the point, I’d been testing my own limits, walking a fine line. I needed that behavior brought to my attention. I was aware of it, sort of. But it needed examining and thought before I realized my motivations behind the behavior.
So, hurray. I’ve figured out why I was acting a fool. Not that that helps me make any grand decisions. I’ve got a whole bucket full of ‘want’ I’m carrying around, and no clue what to pour it on. *feh*
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Returned home from vacation tonight. I’d hoped to take some time to write over this past weekend but I forgot to take into consideration the effect my family has on the people around them. There was little enough time for sleep, much less writing. I’d wake at 7:30, help fix breakfast (I must mention there were six adults and three little boys all under the age of 6), clean up the kitchen, go fishing until noon, help with lunch, clean up the kitchen, go swimming with the nephews until 2 then come in for a snack (At this point two of my three nephews would usually take a nap and the third would play video games.) At this point I’d either go take a nap of my own or go back out to fish off the dock until dinner time. Dinner around 5:30 or 6, then kayaking until dark. Then a glass of wine and a game of canasta before everyone turned in. As you can see, there was no time to write. There were fish to catch, meals to cook and little boys to entertain. But all in all, it was a grand adventure.
The area we stayed in was Cape San Blas, Florida. If you want to see a beautiful coastline with sandy white beaches and emerald green water, that’s the place to visit. It’s far away from major cities so the night sky is crystal clear and filled with stars. And the barrier island offers a bay side and a gulf side so you have your choice of play spots depending on the weather and your mood.
I have to say, as much as I daydream of leaving technology behind, this past week I was truly grateful for the invention of the air conditioner. When the heat index reached 115 I truly thought I might physically melt. Like really, the temperature outside was 105 in the shade with 100 percent humidity — and I truly think the humidity is the only thing that kept me from spontaniously combusting. Damn that’s hot.
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A traveler came to Port Kar a few days ago and sat in our tavern among some of our men. When a couple of women outside the tavern in the square started laughing and singing he began to mutter about shutting them up, permanently. Yes you read this right, this fool thought he’d just waltz outside and stick a sword into the belly of two of the city’s women with no idea who they were – just his baseless assumptions and a chip on his shoulder to guide him.
Now think about this situation.
First of all, ICly, he was in a crowded, loud tavern, supposedly minding his own business, so why should he acknowledge that he even hear the chatter drifting through the door from the street. Second of all, he was a visitor in our city and had no idea who these women were that he seemingly find so annoying.
When a friend within the tavern brought these points to light the traveler said, ICly, that he had no use for she-urts and it pissed him off when they ‘went outside their role’…
Dear traveler, learn to recognize the varying layers of gorean society and acknowledge that diversity exists. The She-urts of the wharves in John Norman’s books were homeless, destitute women who had sunk to the lowest depths possible. They wore rags, lived on the streets and begged, stole or whored for food and coin. Calling a woman a she-urt when she isn’t, is an insult. It’s tantamount to calling her a whore. Stop using the term lightly folks! … Also, there were only five castes considered high caste. The veil was not law in most cities, but custom and mostly custom among the high caste women. Lower caste women might not wear the veil at all and I assure you the number of everyday low caste women on the street outnumbered the few high caste women that might be seen.
Also traveler, a word of advise. You are a visitor here. The guards of a city will deal with the citizens if they become a problem. Don’t think just because you’ve got a dick that it’s your right to take it out and shake it at everyone that doesn’t conform to your ideal of ‘proper Gorean’
I’m not a she-urt anymore. And Mya’s something in between and on her way up. We’re both working hard at making honest coin and getting off the streets. We’re roleplaying it out and taking our time with it. Both of us are low caste. So neither of us wears a veil. We’re both pretty quick to smile and laugh so we can get a little bawdy sometimes. But this is who we are. We bring a lot of energy when we join a group. Some folks enjoy RPing with us. I’m sorry if the traveler felt annoyed at our behavior, but we had as much right to be in the square as he did to be in the tavern. We are Free. We were only laughing and singing. And yes were singing silly, slightly bawdy lymrics, but we were not dancing naked in the fountain. Just singing and being merry. Stop thinking that every free person you meet must be this stuffy, tight-ass persona. Goreans loved life. Loved it! It’s the reason players and poets never starved. There was much respect for folk who devoted their lives to the enrichment of Gorean culture.
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Great reasons to RP as low-caste in Port Kar:
OTHER PLAYERS: I’ve been RPing in Port Kar since 12/08 and I’ve met some amazing roleplayers in this city. True, it’s summer and we’re experiencing a traffic lull. And true, there is the occasional rotten apple that makes the whole barrel seems suspect. But let me assure you, this city is ripe with creative souls just dieing to interact with interesting personalities willing to invest in LONG TERM ROLEPLAY.
CHEAP LIVING: The dregs is the low-caste neighborhood available in Port Kar. You can rent a house for about 75L a week and you get 50 prims. That’s a helluva deal. And it’s INSIDE the sim, so you LIVE where you PLAY.
PIRATES, OUTLAWS AND RAIDERS, OH MY! So many hawt, delicious shady characters wander through our town. You’ll be amazed at the people you’ll meet. Come open up a shady business for all of these wicked personalities. Want to be an alchemist and sell poisons? How about a rare mystic and tell ominous fortunes. Maybe you’re a weather witch and you portend bad crops and stormy seas. Maybe you’re just a fisherman who tells tales about the ones that got away. Maybe you’re a town drunk who begs for coin or knifes the occasional unsuspecting traveler for whatever’s in their pockets. The possibilities are endless and the dregs is THE PLACE to indulge those character concepts.
NO VEILS! In Port Kar there is NO LAW requiring women to wear veils in public. Which means if you’re a poor low-caste wench, like me, there’s nothing to stop you flouncing about town bare-faced and scandalous. Well, except that the men will flirt terribly and think you’re likely loose. But hell, I am. I mean, the lower the caste the higher the hem. *ahem* Who the hell wants to spend all their days cloistered in some sitting room wrapped in frilly robes and never being allowed to interact with the populace anyway? I know I don’t. I get ‘dressed up’ when I ‘go to work’ … That means that if I’m RPing being in the sewing shop and working I dress very conservatively because my Lady employer would expect it of me. But when I’m at home our out and about with friends I wear my ‘everyday’ clothes. I only own about 3 dresses and onlyabout 2 veils – RPly I’m speaking. OOCly I’m a clothes-whore — and I wouldn’t want my ‘good stuff’ to get mussed up when I’m out at market or cleaning or cooking or trying to catch some fish for dinner, etc. You get the idea.
SEX! OK, not everyone is interested in this, but I have to throw it out there because so many cities have ‘couching laws’ — meaning if a FW is caught having sex with a slave she is subject to slaveery. BUT Port Kar has NO ‘couching law’ … Meaning, Ladies… that if you live here, and you ‘borrow’ a kajirus for the night … there are no legal ramifications! Huzzah!
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I am so mad right now that I could bite a nail in two.
Here we were having a good night, the streets were full the tavern was hoppin’ and what should happen, but a mod with a fucking ego blows up at someone over something stupid.
What? … oh, do let me explain. A FW walks into a tavern. … No, really this isn’t a bad joke… just listen …
So a FW walks into a Tavern full of men drinking and cavorting with their slaves. She IM’s a kajira with an offensive group tag — ((FW = Slut in a dress)) — and tells her that if she ever uses her tag to express such a rude OOC opinion in our city again she’ll be ejected and banned.
Well, here’s a fucking wake up call. The fucking tag was not directed at you, ya uppity High-caste wench. GOR does not REVOLVE around YOU!
Furthermore… if you’d been RPing a MODEST HIGH CASTE FREE WOMAN … instead of just wanting to be a bitch and OOC gobsmack someone … you wouldn’t have BEEN IN A FUCKING TAVERN and you wouldn’t have SEEN THE FUCKING TAG.
You know, what should have happened, was the guards should have hauled your high caste ass back into the street, face stripped you and whipped you screaming all the way back home. But unfortunately, this is not Gor. It’s SL. And you wouldn’t have RP’d it. And really, the guards on duty were too busy fingering a slutty kajira to notice a city full of strangers.
*sigh*
Someone remind me why I try? Why don’t I just run off to one of the newer, hipper sims? .. oh yeah, because I love my home stone.
…
FUCK!
…
I spent over an hour of my time tonight talking to someone in IM who’d had a bad prior experience in Port Kar. And just as we’re making friends this happens.
This. Is. Bullshit.
Some of us try so fucking hard to make a good RP environment. And then this kind of thing happens. Those folks won’t be back. And worse, they’ll tell their friends about their experience. And those folks will tell their friends what they heard too. Word of mouth is important in our RP world.
Odin help us. *sigh*
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The party's that way! ... Here's spit in yer eye!
ATTENTION COLORFUL LOW-CASTE GOREANS 
We’re looking for average folk to fill the Dregs district of Port Kar with songs, laughter, business dealings, dirty deeds and everyday quality roleplay. Play instruments for coppers on the streetcorners. Beg for coin. Sell cups of paga. Juggle. Tumble. Tell bawdy jokes. Sell poisons or poisoned daggers behind the many seedy little buildings. … There’s more to Gor than raids and slaves! Bring your contributions to Port Kar. We’ll thank you for it 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Musicians, Singers, Poets, Entertainers, Jugglers, Players … There’s a rumor there’s going to be a big storm on Thassa soon, and we all know us swamprats love a good hurricane party. And what’s a party without music and laughter?
She-urts, theives, assassins, mercenaries, pirates, beggars … What’s a seedy port town without the dismal underbelly of society to pick pockets, whore, beg, steal and murder? And hey, a drunken crowd of revelers makes for a good night’s work for us shady personalities!
Fishermen, weavers, rencers, clothiers, perfumers, cobblers, carpenters, peasants, stone masons … The low caste are the lifeblood of Gor and no place knows it better than seedy little port cities like Port Kar. Come ply your trade surrounded by average men and women of Gor. Leave the fancy clothes and big houses to the uppity High Caste and come revel in realism!
SECONDLIFE:
Port Kar – Scourge of The Thassa, Port Kar (212, 77, 23)
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A little RL R&R
June 20, 2009 at 3:59 am (Gor: The Author's Musings) (beach, comments, docks of port kar, Entertainer, furlough, Gor, gossip, lurk, poems, Poetry, Port Kar, Sage, sage blossom blog, unplugged, vacation, write)
I’ll be ‘unplugged’ from 6/20 through 6/27 or 28. … It’d be great if some of y’all who lurk would keep me updated on what goes on in-world by posting your comments here. That way when I get home and log in I’m up-to-date on the latest gossip
Anyway, Maybe I’ll get some writing done while I’m away. I’m going off to the coast and will be on the beach for most of the week. And I do some of my best work when I’m out enjoying Mother Nature’s beauty.
Be safe my friends and I’ll see ya soon! Ta-Sardar-Gor!!
~Sage
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